Fast weight loss is every obese person's dream diet, but when I introduce my new clients to my proven plan they panic when I tell them they must eat to succeed. This is something I actually understand. When I weighed 256 pounds and was so depressed I was worried for my safety, I found a naturopath who would run the blood tests I wanted to see if my liver was to blame. After giving her my medical and dieting history and explaining why I felt it was my liver causing the problems she agreed to let me do things my way. I thought I had convinced her. Nine months later when I had lost 136 pounds and returned for the final blood work that would prove my liver theory, she shared with me her first impression. She had written in her notes: "Patient views food as poison."
She was right. After helping so many other obese women, I have realized I was not alone. For many of us food is our greatest nemesis. We love it, but hate it. Actually, we fear it more. Even as a child I never ate any food, including good foods like apples, without guilt or fear of being judged. Many of my clients say the same thing, yet the number one reason the obese quit diets is that they just want to eat like a normal person.
The problem is that for those of us who have grown up with obesity the idea of how to eat like a normal person is outside our realm of understanding . We only know two modes of eating: dieting and overeating. The only time we seem to be able to control our eating is when on a structured diet, but that structure soon becomes a prison and we run to our other method of nutrition, the one that keeps us obese. Food has just never worked for us.
One of the first things that becomes very clear when new obese clients start my program, and what they actually all voice is: "I don't know how to eat like a regular person." When I tell them I want them to eat 1800 calories their first two weeks to find out what their true maintenance diet will look like, their eyes pop, their voices quake, and they stammer: "1800 calories, that is insane. I will gain weight." It takes me a while to convince them otherwise.
I check their food every day. The first week is always predictable. The food logs are packed with diet type foods in quantities that wouldn't satisfy a child. The calories rarely come close to the 1800. For that matter they rarely reach 1500. When I start to question the choices they actually defend the food saying they prefer it to other "real" food. After a long lecture on what we are trying to accomplish the second week is better, but it still takes a while to get them to give in to foods they feared all their lives and to eat enough to feel sated before leaving the dinner table.
I don't believe there is anyone diet that works for everyone. We all have different likes and dislikes and our bodies react to certain foods in both positive and negative ways. Some of us do better with low fat, some thrive on higher fats. Some of us are insulin resistant with some foods spiking our blood sugar while others can eat what they want. We also have different appetites that dictate if we are grazers or three meal a day type of eaters. There is no one right or wrong way to eat. Yet most obese men and women feel they have to conform to dieting standards which have always been about deprivation and obsession.
We are so distrustful of food and our own ability to manage it that it is actually harder to get the obese to eat then it is to them to starve. If I said, okay here is this liquid diet, you won't eat for six months, they would sign on in a minute, but when I say I am going to make them eat, they back off not believing they could succeed.
When I start a new client on this program, their first week proves how true the above statement is. They eat tentatively. The foods tend to come from their dieting history, the amounts minimal. I pick out these dieting foods and ask why they chose to eat them. Their answer is surprising. Not only was the food not satisfying, but oftentimes they ate food they didn't like because that is what their dieting brain told them was the only acceptable choice. Now, there are diets out there on the market that promote lots of eating choices. They work for some, but the problem is they are small amounts for the calories, and most obese men and women need bigger servings, and when they eat higher fat, sugar, or salted foods, cravings dictate that one serving is never enough. That creates more fear of food, and that fear limits viable choices in their idea of what they can and cannot eat for weight loss. I make it clear, I do not want to see those diet foods in their menu again. Panic ensues.
It takes time and effort to move into a healthy diet, one that is satisfying and can last a lifetime, but it is worth it. Anyone can be successful if they open their mind and fight the fear and guilt associated with eating. Once I convince them that they can eat real food to maintain their weight with real food, shedding the pounds is easy.
For so many years the obese have fought their inability to control their weight and take responsibility for their relationship with food. That loss of control makes food the enemy for some, and an abusive lover for others. But food is only as powerful as e make it. The obese must open their eyes to the true value of food. It is nutrition for the body. Like gasoline for a car. There is no need to fear it, there is only a need to build a solid relationship with it where we are the ones in charge.
She was right. After helping so many other obese women, I have realized I was not alone. For many of us food is our greatest nemesis. We love it, but hate it. Actually, we fear it more. Even as a child I never ate any food, including good foods like apples, without guilt or fear of being judged. Many of my clients say the same thing, yet the number one reason the obese quit diets is that they just want to eat like a normal person.
The problem is that for those of us who have grown up with obesity the idea of how to eat like a normal person is outside our realm of understanding . We only know two modes of eating: dieting and overeating. The only time we seem to be able to control our eating is when on a structured diet, but that structure soon becomes a prison and we run to our other method of nutrition, the one that keeps us obese. Food has just never worked for us.
One of the first things that becomes very clear when new obese clients start my program, and what they actually all voice is: "I don't know how to eat like a regular person." When I tell them I want them to eat 1800 calories their first two weeks to find out what their true maintenance diet will look like, their eyes pop, their voices quake, and they stammer: "1800 calories, that is insane. I will gain weight." It takes me a while to convince them otherwise.
I check their food every day. The first week is always predictable. The food logs are packed with diet type foods in quantities that wouldn't satisfy a child. The calories rarely come close to the 1800. For that matter they rarely reach 1500. When I start to question the choices they actually defend the food saying they prefer it to other "real" food. After a long lecture on what we are trying to accomplish the second week is better, but it still takes a while to get them to give in to foods they feared all their lives and to eat enough to feel sated before leaving the dinner table.
I don't believe there is anyone diet that works for everyone. We all have different likes and dislikes and our bodies react to certain foods in both positive and negative ways. Some of us do better with low fat, some thrive on higher fats. Some of us are insulin resistant with some foods spiking our blood sugar while others can eat what they want. We also have different appetites that dictate if we are grazers or three meal a day type of eaters. There is no one right or wrong way to eat. Yet most obese men and women feel they have to conform to dieting standards which have always been about deprivation and obsession.
We are so distrustful of food and our own ability to manage it that it is actually harder to get the obese to eat then it is to them to starve. If I said, okay here is this liquid diet, you won't eat for six months, they would sign on in a minute, but when I say I am going to make them eat, they back off not believing they could succeed.
When I start a new client on this program, their first week proves how true the above statement is. They eat tentatively. The foods tend to come from their dieting history, the amounts minimal. I pick out these dieting foods and ask why they chose to eat them. Their answer is surprising. Not only was the food not satisfying, but oftentimes they ate food they didn't like because that is what their dieting brain told them was the only acceptable choice. Now, there are diets out there on the market that promote lots of eating choices. They work for some, but the problem is they are small amounts for the calories, and most obese men and women need bigger servings, and when they eat higher fat, sugar, or salted foods, cravings dictate that one serving is never enough. That creates more fear of food, and that fear limits viable choices in their idea of what they can and cannot eat for weight loss. I make it clear, I do not want to see those diet foods in their menu again. Panic ensues.
It takes time and effort to move into a healthy diet, one that is satisfying and can last a lifetime, but it is worth it. Anyone can be successful if they open their mind and fight the fear and guilt associated with eating. Once I convince them that they can eat real food to maintain their weight with real food, shedding the pounds is easy.
For so many years the obese have fought their inability to control their weight and take responsibility for their relationship with food. That loss of control makes food the enemy for some, and an abusive lover for others. But food is only as powerful as e make it. The obese must open their eyes to the true value of food. It is nutrition for the body. Like gasoline for a car. There is no need to fear it, there is only a need to build a solid relationship with it where we are the ones in charge.
About the Author:
Carlene Jones is a Fast Weight Loss Coach for the Obese. She lost 136 pounds in 9 months and now helps others beat obesity. Last year her clients lost over 2000 lbs. In her workbook Fat Brain Lies Lies she helps the obese come to terms with their relationship to food so they can build a livable unique diet to take them to their goals and keep the weight off for life.
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